Mothering my mom

 Some of you may still have this opportunity

My mom would have petted me, consoled me and tickled me as a baby and toddler. But I am unable to recall any of those tender moments. My tender moment recalls are of my maternal grandmother- her gnarled fingers combing my hair as I laid with my head on her laps listening to her singing songs and telling stories in Tamizhalam and Malayalam. A mercantile song talking about items of import from and export to Britain tracing the ship's route through Suez Canal and Gibralter Strait I learnt once again from my Periamma. She sang it with gusto at ripe age of 93 few years ago.

I made up for what I could not remember in mother's last couple of months. I became her mother for few hours every day. I slept with her. She had gone frail. I took her permission and went to sleep hugging her. I was worried I would hurt her as a friend had told me 'your hands are hathodaas!". My mother said I should ensure my elbow did not dig into her.

I used to disentagle once she fell asleep. She did not want to be helped in her chores. She used to get up several times in the night and use the rest room or spittoon taking care not to disturb me. Though I am a deep sleeper, those couple of months I was alert and used to watch her without indicating to her I was awake.

Sometimes she used to complain.

"I got up several times last night. Did you know?". I used to tell her what all she did each time she got up. She used to say mischievously," I know you are awake most of the time. Appo unakku sneham undu."

It was one of those days,I asked her about her views on life and after life. Her views were a revelation.

Last few days she needed help, much to her dislike. I carried around her like a baby as she had become too feeble.

I enjoyed those tender moments playing mother to my mom. I will remember those delicate moments as long as my faculties would let me do.

Whenever I drop in at any of my friend's home, I wish to meet their parents for this reason. How frail they look does not matter.

I urge those of you who have a chance -please do not to miss the opportunity